{DAY 3 ... }

Well yesterday (they changed the date of the Chemo to Thursday morning) was more tiring than I expected, the treatment lasted 4 hours and was as the nurses warned me quite an anti-climax. Just sat around in a big Lazy Boy Chair with a drip in my hand watching my movie on my notebook, reading my book and of course chatting to every one in sight!!! The only bit of action that I got was leaping off my chair 2 drip bags held over my head dashing off to the toilet to pee every 15 minutes they gave me about 2 liters of fluid intravenously as well as the 2.5 liters that I drank (they said that flushing the kidneys is vital) ... I think that is more liquid than I normally drink in a week!!!

Once treatment was finished I felt a little 'drunk'. Chris and my sister commented that I sounded a little 'stoned'. About two hours later the hangover hit, which is very disappointing as I did not even have a glass of wine!!! - my head was quite painful, but it cleared today at about 11 am. At least I did not get the side affects that they said I would, which would be insomnia and nausea - well the nausea might only come in a day or two. I do have the sunburnt feeling on my face though that they said the cortisone might give.. Tonight I feel very achy - like a bad flu.

Though after sleeping most of the morning I felt better by lunch time. I fetched Miguel and took him to the park, where they allowed him to feed the ducks and help clean out the little paddocks of the pigs and goats, he giggled and laughed for a solid 2 hours. He also 'rescued' 3 baby ducklings by helping them over the fence to their mom, he was immensely proud of himself, though no more than I at his display of gentleness and caring. The two of us had a early bath and we were relaxing in bed by 4 pm!!! He fell asleep about 4.30 and is still out - he was so happy, it was worth dragging my body out of bed for that - he has been very tense and angry over the last week, he knows that something is not right and panics every time myself or Chris have to leave the house. . .

I am off to try and sleep, I just cant seem to get comfortable though I am tired.

Ciao for now, love to you all....

{DAY 1 ...}

The scans came back yesterday ... stage 3b cancer, it is the size of an egg. but HIP PIP HOORAY it has NOT spread to the lymph nodes, or surrouning organs. Also it seems that my kidneys are a-okay so that they can give the chemo they want, coz the kidneys are tough enough to handle it .... so today at 8.30 im off for my first chemo, it will last about 3 hours, so im all ready i have packed the following :

• music
• the new Terry Pratchett book - MAKING MONEY (cant wait to get
• note book with a funny movie on it
• fruit
• LOTS AND LOTS of water

oooooooh how could i forget ... 'THE HEELS' Let me introduce you to them

I will wear these to every treatment that i have until im all better ... arent they divine!?!?!?!?

{THE DAY MY LIFE CHANGED ...}

Yesterday my whole world was turned upside down, inside out and just stopped spinning on its axis for a couple of hours. I was given the news that I had Cancer .... did you just feel the world give a little wobble???

Yes ... I have been diagnosed with Adenocarcinomas cervical cancer (more detail here). - The doctor said that it is advanced and if it had remained undiagnosed it would have killed me with in a year. I start my course of Chemo next Friday for 6 weeks followed by six weeks of Radio .... They say 3 in 4 beat it so i think that those are pretty good odds - don't you ... I really think that I need those red heels that I have been going on about for ages for my first treatment don't you ??? The Oncologist said that the radio treatment will destroy my ovaries and that I will, at the age of 33 go into early menopause - I am mad because even though i do not want any more children, my choice has been taken away from me and it makes me mad ... how silly is that???

On Tuesday I go for my CT scan and Chest x-ray so that they can grade and stage the cancer ... I'm not sure how i feel at this moment in time, I keep thinking that 1 in 4 do die and my luck health wise over the last 4 years has not been good .. but at the same time, why should it not be my turn to win the health lotto??? If 100 of 1000's of other women make it there is no reason that I cant!!! I will keep you up dated as soon as I know what is happening. I think that once i know the grade and stage of the cancer I will be able to deal with it better, because at the moment it still seems a little up on the air to me and I am thinking ridiculous things - like my cancer is the size of a small turkey!!! LOL.

Love to you all ......

OOOHHH we have Miguel's first school play tonight - my little boy is going to be a speckled frog ... I cant wait to see him in action!!! We are off now to a birthday party, so I have to get the team in order ... ciao