{IM BACK !}

Hi there .... I'm very sorry that i did not keep this updated during my treatment, but to be honest I was just so exhausted all the time that I couldn't. But finally after 5 months, 8 Chemo sessions, 35 Radiations, incredible pain, extreme nausea, 2 hospital stays of a week long each and one full hysterectomy I'm on the mend !!! The up side of getting better is that I get to go back to work ;op

You can tell that i am getting better and SO over the whole cancer thing ... Im complaining about the size of my butt! I put on quite a bit of weight because of all the cortisone's I had to take to try and counter act the side effects of the Chemo. Everyone else lost weight and looked fragile, me ??? Nope ... porky, but i like to think of it as BOOTYLICIOUS!!!

Well it is Miguel's birthday next month and I have made his invitations and they have been sent out .. once again my DS wants Winnie the Pooh.

Miguel had Egypt day at his school a while back. He had to go dressed up as a Egyptian. So I made a robe and a stunning (if i may say so my self) Pharaohs Collar. It was a complete success!! Geraldine (my sis) drew a template for the collar out and printed it onto card stock (I still have the pattern if anyone needs it). I then ironed on interfacing to give it a little more resilience. TheWe then coloured the collars in with gold marker pen and metallic blue paint. I had found some gold bead trim and some beautiful large gold and gem stone buttons at a local haberdashery. We glued these on the to the final collar once it was dry and da-da ... what do you think? Miguel worked so hard on his one, i was very proud at the effort he put into his one.He was the only blond Pharaoh in his class so he stood out!! the kids looked sooooo cute, especially the little girls. It was wonderful to see how every one put such effort into the day!

I have also loaded one of my old freebie alphas, I know it was a great success 18 months ago, so enjoy it if you did not catch it the first time round.

download here

{DAY 3 ... }

Well yesterday (they changed the date of the Chemo to Thursday morning) was more tiring than I expected, the treatment lasted 4 hours and was as the nurses warned me quite an anti-climax. Just sat around in a big Lazy Boy Chair with a drip in my hand watching my movie on my notebook, reading my book and of course chatting to every one in sight!!! The only bit of action that I got was leaping off my chair 2 drip bags held over my head dashing off to the toilet to pee every 15 minutes they gave me about 2 liters of fluid intravenously as well as the 2.5 liters that I drank (they said that flushing the kidneys is vital) ... I think that is more liquid than I normally drink in a week!!!

Once treatment was finished I felt a little 'drunk'. Chris and my sister commented that I sounded a little 'stoned'. About two hours later the hangover hit, which is very disappointing as I did not even have a glass of wine!!! - my head was quite painful, but it cleared today at about 11 am. At least I did not get the side affects that they said I would, which would be insomnia and nausea - well the nausea might only come in a day or two. I do have the sunburnt feeling on my face though that they said the cortisone might give.. Tonight I feel very achy - like a bad flu.

Though after sleeping most of the morning I felt better by lunch time. I fetched Miguel and took him to the park, where they allowed him to feed the ducks and help clean out the little paddocks of the pigs and goats, he giggled and laughed for a solid 2 hours. He also 'rescued' 3 baby ducklings by helping them over the fence to their mom, he was immensely proud of himself, though no more than I at his display of gentleness and caring. The two of us had a early bath and we were relaxing in bed by 4 pm!!! He fell asleep about 4.30 and is still out - he was so happy, it was worth dragging my body out of bed for that - he has been very tense and angry over the last week, he knows that something is not right and panics every time myself or Chris have to leave the house. . .

I am off to try and sleep, I just cant seem to get comfortable though I am tired.

Ciao for now, love to you all....

{DAY 1 ...}

The scans came back yesterday ... stage 3b cancer, it is the size of an egg. but HIP PIP HOORAY it has NOT spread to the lymph nodes, or surrouning organs. Also it seems that my kidneys are a-okay so that they can give the chemo they want, coz the kidneys are tough enough to handle it .... so today at 8.30 im off for my first chemo, it will last about 3 hours, so im all ready i have packed the following :

• music
• the new Terry Pratchett book - MAKING MONEY (cant wait to get
• note book with a funny movie on it
• fruit
• LOTS AND LOTS of water

oooooooh how could i forget ... 'THE HEELS' Let me introduce you to them

I will wear these to every treatment that i have until im all better ... arent they divine!?!?!?!?

{THE DAY MY LIFE CHANGED ...}

Yesterday my whole world was turned upside down, inside out and just stopped spinning on its axis for a couple of hours. I was given the news that I had Cancer .... did you just feel the world give a little wobble???

Yes ... I have been diagnosed with Adenocarcinomas cervical cancer (more detail here). - The doctor said that it is advanced and if it had remained undiagnosed it would have killed me with in a year. I start my course of Chemo next Friday for 6 weeks followed by six weeks of Radio .... They say 3 in 4 beat it so i think that those are pretty good odds - don't you ... I really think that I need those red heels that I have been going on about for ages for my first treatment don't you ??? The Oncologist said that the radio treatment will destroy my ovaries and that I will, at the age of 33 go into early menopause - I am mad because even though i do not want any more children, my choice has been taken away from me and it makes me mad ... how silly is that???

On Tuesday I go for my CT scan and Chest x-ray so that they can grade and stage the cancer ... I'm not sure how i feel at this moment in time, I keep thinking that 1 in 4 do die and my luck health wise over the last 4 years has not been good .. but at the same time, why should it not be my turn to win the health lotto??? If 100 of 1000's of other women make it there is no reason that I cant!!! I will keep you up dated as soon as I know what is happening. I think that once i know the grade and stage of the cancer I will be able to deal with it better, because at the moment it still seems a little up on the air to me and I am thinking ridiculous things - like my cancer is the size of a small turkey!!! LOL.

Love to you all ......

OOOHHH we have Miguel's first school play tonight - my little boy is going to be a speckled frog ... I cant wait to see him in action!!! We are off now to a birthday party, so I have to get the team in order ... ciao

{IM BACK...}

Well after being away for a week in the UK, we are home ... I will fill you in on the trip once I have gone through our 1000 photos (well I'm sure that it must be around the number). I am renowned to have similar genetic traits as a Japanese tourist .... We had a WONDERFUL time and I could not give enough thanks to IBM for hosting us in such a magnificent manner (you too Greg, our incredible 'tour guide' from Penquin). I will post some pics as soon as I have processed them ...

Tomorrow we are off to Chris's cousin Didiers wedding - it is to be held at a stunning B&B called Collisheen Estate in the beautiful sea side town of Ballito, which lies just 30 minutes north of Durban in the heart of the KwaZulu Natal North Coast, is nestled between rippling fields of sugar cane, KwaZulu Natal's famous Green Gold. The Dolphin Coast, as this area is otherwise named, gets its name from the many Bottle nose dolphins that frequently surf the waves along this stretch of coast. Ballito is flanked to the east by golden beaches and the warm waters of the Indian Ocean.

I did not know what to get Dids and Hilke for a gift, so I decided to make them a visitors signing book for the wedding (please dear God don't let them have one!!!) .... this is what I came up with. I did 6 layouts with photos of them - the photos are not very good as I had to scrounge them from Face book etc .. so I ran a few actions, then made them black and white so that they (hopefully) look grainy and a little dreamy on purpose. On the opposite page of the lay out I gave words of advice ... things like :

• For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.
• Never go to bed angry. (Unless it's 3a.m. and you're exhausted, angry, and not thinking straight.)
• Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.
• Don't make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of life!
• Fight naked. ;)
• Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
• Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?

All the paper and card embellishments I have made myself & the papers are ones that I have scanned and reduced to the right size and printed. The remaining 8 pages are for the gusts to sign ... I am quite pleased with the result - except for page one, it is soooo not my style and I cant bring myself to like it. sooo here goes ...

well it is 1 am here and i think i should be off to bed ...night!!!

{though for the day...}

credit : weeds & wild flowers brag book...

2 days (well technically one and a half days) and counting for my trip ... sooo excited!!!

First 3 Things Challenge

Here is my layout for the weeds & wildflowers challange - check it out here...

CREDITS :

Natasha Whiteley - Diffuse Glow Action

Weeds & Wildflowers - Lazy Days - red paper

KSKD - bubba boy blue paper

Kim De Smet aka Shaky - paper - recoloured yellow

KHMize-AdChalFree-041507 - yellow label

khadfield_UKSclass template

{sometime you have to ask why ...}

and so it goes ....